How I Gave Up My Broken Dreams

I was sitting in the doctor's office
while I held my fifteen month old
son, Paul. The doctor finished his
examination of Paul and said to
me, "You know that Paul will be
develpmentally delayed all of his life." His words were like
a hammer shattering a mirror into a million pieces. My wife
and the doctor both realized that Paul was not developing like
other children his age. However, I did not want to accept the
idea that Paul was going to be disabled. My father, who is now
in Heaven, and I were very close. We did everything together
including hunting, fishing, and playing catch in the backyard.
When our son was born, I looked forward to the day that
I could have that same cherished relationship with Paul. The
fact that he was going to be disabled all of his life changed
everything.When we arrived home from the doctor's office,
I put Paul on the floor in our living room and bowed my head
and prayed, "Dear God, I dedicate my son to you today, Please
use this for your glory." After struggling with this for
several months, I finally accepted the fact that Paul was
going to be handicapped all of his life.On my way to work
one day the phrase "Who did sin?" came to my mind. After
work I opened my Bible to John 9:1-5 "And as Jesus passed
by, He saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his
disciples asked him saying, 'Master who did sin, this man,
or his parents, that he was born blind?' Jesus answered,
'Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that
the works of God should be manifest in him. I must work
the works of him that sent me, while it is day: the night
cometh when no man can work. As long as I am in the world,
I am the light of the world."God wanted to teach me several
lessons about time and eternity:
1. God meant it for good. "And we know that all thing work
together for good to them that love God, to them who are the
called according to his purpose." Rom 8:28 Paul's suffering
was meant for good. Yes, it hurt and all my dreams for Paul
were broken. But God had a greater purpose than mine and
Paul's disability was meant for the greater good in the lives
of other people.The hard part was letting go of my dreams and
trusting in God's purpose for my life through the suffering
of Paul. I had to let go and let God have His way in my life.
2. God's comforts and strengthens us with His word. "Let thy
mercies come unto me, O Lord, even thy salvation according to
thy word." Psalm 119:41 This is my comfort in my affliction:
for Thy word hath quickened me." The word of God gives us
strength and hope while we face sorrows and broken dreams.
Through the years, it has always been the Bible that has shown
me God's faithfulness and His love for my family. Whenever, I
was discouraged God would always have a verse or a special
sermon from my preacher that gave me the strength to keep
serving Him.
3. Paul's suffering is temporary. "For our light affliction,
which is for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding
and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things
which are seen: for the things which are seen are temporal;
but the things which are not seen are eternal." II Cor 4:17-18.
My son will endure a lifetime of suffering. Paul's doctor
once ordered a CT scan of his brain. As I held up the film of
the CT scan, I saw all of the abnormalities in Paul's brain
that caused his problems. The abnormalities that I saw that
day are temporary. The Heaven I cannot see is eternal.The
sorrows we bear on earth bring a great and heavy burden in
our lives. But God will use them to work for us in bringing
about an even greater weight of God's glory when we get to
Heaven. God's glory in Heaven will far out weigh the
afflictions we bear here on earth.The Holy Spirit said it
well in Romans 8:18 "For I reckon that the sufferings of His
present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory
which shall be revealed in us." What God is saying here is
our present suffering cannot be compared to the glory of God
in Heaven. It is like trying to compare apples and oranges.
In other words, God want to use the sufferings of our present
time as a vessel to reveal the wonderful glory of God which
shall be reaveled in us when he comes to take us to Heaven.
When Paul gets to Heaven, he will no longer be handicapped.
He will have a glorified body and a sound mind. And together
we will share a glorious eternity with Jesus Christ our Lord
and Saviour. Thank you and God bless you.
Jad Terrebonne